Best Relationship Advice After 10 Years Together

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I can't believe that Joe and I have officially been together for ten years. We just celebrated five years of marriage (and took a trip to Pismo Beach!). We went back to our wedding venue on our exact anniversary (June 24th) and took photos with our wedding photographer, Nikkels Photography. I feel like our ten year anniversary of togetherness is the perfect opportunity to share those photos. Along with our beautiful shoot, I want to share some relationship advice. When I was younger, I always envisioned the first year or two of a relationship but had no concept of what things would look like five or ten years down the road. I had no idea what it would be like to be married - I was the first of my friends to get engaged.

No relationship is perfect but Joe and I have become a really strong pair. Team Jollie, as we like to say 🙂 It's been a whirlwind from graduating college to moving to New York City to moving back to California on top of all the other world events over the past decade. Since I've learned a thing or two along the way, I want to share my best relationship advice (so far!). I hope this is helpful.

Best Relationship Advice After 10 Years Together

Communication is Key

If I've learned anything in my longest relationship, it's that communication is everything. My biggest piece of advice is to focus on figuring out your communication style with your partner. Consider how you both like to discuss difficult topics. Put yourself in each others shoes. Have open dialogue. Transparency is everything and it doesn't need to come in a harsh form. When you're feeling defensive, emotional, or out of control, try to stick to the facts. It's fine to say: when this happened, I felt X and this bothered me because Y. I find, when I'm open and articulate myself well, I get the best results in tough situations.

Never Stop Dating

Whether you're married or in a long term relationship, never stop going on dates. Carve out time for dinners, movies, day trips, brunches..whatever strikes your fancy. This is something I have to remind myself of regularly. I'm great at getting out and about on the weekends but we tend to get into a rut on the weekdays. I've been trying to do more dinners and evening activities recently. It doesn't have to be extravagant but at least something that gets you out of the house.

Pick Your Battles

Be selective with the arguments you engage in. Save your time and energy for the heavier topics. This advice can be used with pretty much any relationship. I still think it's worth a mention here as well. This is another example of the importance of open communication. Have open discussions and don't feel the need to pick fights over small issues.

Embrace Change

We never want to stay stagnant. You and your partner should change over time. Change is good but can also be challenging. Make space to evolve and grow together. Keep an open mind when your partner finds new hobbies, makes new friends or even wants a career change. Of course people don't always grow together but the best you can do is focus on your personal development and allow your partner to explore theirs too.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

What you do strongly correlates with what you believe. When you say you're going to change a behavior or handle a tough situation differently in the future, stay true to your word.

Adventure Is Out There

Up is our couple movie. I don't know how it happened. We randomly watched it early on in our relationship and I found it so sweet. The opening song always makes me think of Joe. One of my favorite quotes from the movie is: adventure is out there. We love to travel and experience new life adventures together (like when we moved to New York City!). I even got us our own adventure book for our first wedding anniversary.